I have noticed that as Matthew and Leah are getting older they are beginning to have their own ideas on what is 'cool' and what is not.With mummy fitting into the 'not' part. Gone are the kisses at the school gate and the big waves and smiles when i arrive to collect them. Matthew would rather i don't call him any baby names or buy him any t-shirts with cartoon characters on.Preferring to go shopping with his father instead.
What i struggle to understand is how on earth the past nine years have gone past so quickly and where have my babies gone. I find myself trying to show them that i can be cool which seems to backfire almost everytime. Take yesterday for example, i decided to reinvent the Yoyo knowing how much i loved it as a child. Sienna dragged hers along the floor pretending it was a ladybird! and Matthew and Leah watched in awe as i explained how there was a great skill to playing with a Yoyo and so many 'cool' tricks to learn. In my defence i had not attempted any of the great tricks in over twenty years but simply thought it would be like riding a bike.How could i fail.
I swung the Yoyo round up in the air expecting it to swing back and loop just like it used to. Matthew and Leah ran for cover as i explained it was my warm up attempt. The next twenty minutes pretty much went along the same way. Seeing that i looked rather deflated Leah assured me that it did not matter as i had given it a good try and i could always buy a book from which they could learn.
I sat up last night thinking about the Yoyo incident and came to the conclusion that i may not be an expert at Yoyo anymore and i may not get everything right all the time but my children will learn that trying is the most important thing. They may grow away from me slightly at certain points in their lives but they will come back.That i am sure. If i continue to love them and encourage them to grow i can't fail.
When i kiss them goodnight every night and their little eyes look up at me and tell me that they love me who needs 'Cool'.
